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Part 3 of funny text conversations

This time Charles gets the lengthy comedic response.

Me: My mom killed my car battery with the window cracked open, and it's raining. I'm very much not happy right now.
Charles: Son of a... I wish I knew how to help you. Or make you feel better. Preferably both.
Me: I don't suppose you could get my mom a fabulously paying job so she can afford a new car and give my car the fuck back, could you?
Charles: With your luck, your mum would wreck the new car and quit the job because she doesn't have transportation. And continue to be lazy collecting unemployment. Then she would fall in a hole somewhere far away from where you are, survive, and call you to demand that you drop whatever you're doing and get over there RIGHT FUCKING NOW. However, you'd be able to laugh at her because we'd be in Europe and wouldn't get home for a month, and fuck if we're going to buy a ticket back just to haul her ass out of a hole.
Me: ... That was awesome.

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